For the last four years I have had the privilege of bleeding in the comfort of my home.

I've had a light period for years meaning I happily and easily freebleed at home.

I spend most of the day laying down, often making a daybed in the sun with my journal, book and endless pots of tea.

It's my birthday today, and I want to tell you a story.
One morning, years ago, I woke up in Lisbon, Portugal, distraught and ready to make the biggest change of my life.

How are you enjoying the party? I asked the classically gorgeous gay man as I entered the main bar of my first Queer Sauna, wearing my knee high leather boots, pink knickers and metal hearts bra. 
Great! I just went down on a woman and she said it was the best head of her life! The gorgeous man replied. 

I really didn't want to tell you this…
I have been finding it extremely difficult to make the time, space, and energy for my own self pleasure.

Self pleasure is natural and safe.
For all too many women / female bodies, pleasure has not been safe.
Whether your pleasure was omitted from all conversations growing up, leaving you to assume: “If it isn't spoken about it must be wrong.”

In 2018 I was in the shower with my lover letting him take me roughly from behind when suddenly everything changed.
My knees buckled from underneath me and as I sunk to the shower floor sobbing uncontrollably, I realised that I could also hear my pussy crying.

And so, yesterday afternoon when I found myself alone for the first time in days, I turned on the heater, popped a hot water-bottle over my womb, and began to indulge in my addictive novel.

How long do you spend giving pleasure to your body before you touch your clit when you're masturbating?
Did you know the female body takes around 40 minutes to fully engorge…

I loved pleasure - but my lack of education about it mean I believed it came from sources outside of myself.

From shower heads, jets, from a mans finger or tongue and eventually from sex.

As I hone in on these stories, chipping away at them like marble, carefully carving out new stories, I have felt things in my external world start to shift…

I do this because bringing sisters / siblings together genuinely fills up my soul.

So I let go of my ego's need to sell out and found that I was excited to have a more intimate event - a different kind of medicine.

Yesterday as I drove away from Confest I had the polarising experience of deep joy and simultaneous grief.

From teaching magic and teaching someone how to have an orgasm…
You see, facilitation is an embodied and psychological craft.

What I have learnt on my journey is, like a tree with its many branches all threading out to create one grand canopy.

For some, using the jade egg will be the missing piece you needed to finally experience a summer in your sexuality.

I am learning in this life, like the daily rising and setting of the sun- if you want something you need to be consistent.

Worthiness is an inside job that is assisted by the external world you call in, and surround yourself with.

Suddenly with this Adonis, I was in a scene from the movies, a scene part of me had been longing for, yearning for, craving…

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and suddenly I was dripping.

Spontaneous VS responsive arousal is something I wish everyone knew about.

“I guess I am kinky.” I proclaimed to my friends after I’d just had hot wax dripped over my entire body for 40 minutes.