Kelly
Welcome to your portal my darling! Firstly, if you haven’t already, please make sure you complete the following form so I can know even more about you babe!
https://www.chloeadriana.com/client-intake-form
Then do this meditation as many times as you can before we begin coaching <3
podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5eK1r8nMELJglJMORkACbt?si=ee77e4bbb0374e32
https://slaafws.org/40-questions/
Journal prompts:
Am I expecting myself to met the entire needs of my inner child? How does that feel for me?
What more do I need to understand about my inner child / my own self care in order to meet my inner childs needs?
Look back at the last 10 years and write a list of all the ways that you have developed in your self development already
NEXT SESSION
Cultivating the inner mother
Do you enjoy your profession? Why or why not?: I do because it works well with my brain. I have ADHD so my mind works well with bring proactive, taking initiative, being organised, multitasking. All things i'm really good at. It brings out my masculine energies a lot, so in that sense, it probably does push me out of my feminine (which is what I would like to bring in).
What are three things you most desire from our time together?: Working through old conditioning of body shame, rewriting stories, and bringing in self love.
What are three things you want to move through/ release/ transform from our time together?:
I would love for that self love to really blossum
eat healthy and exercise more, but I want it to come from a place of doing it because I love my body and want the best for it.
I want to feel so safe and secure in my body
I want to look at it with love and admiration, not disgust and shame.
I also want to feel/know that my body is fundamentally okay, and I dont care what other peopple think of me.
I would love to be more spiritual, feel into the earth, listen to my intuition.
Share your three biggest strengths/ what are you proud of?: Pushing through the really dark times. I've had some many days where I just wanted things to end, but I held on. I have started talking to myself nicer and being supportive and compassionate, really proud of that. I'm proud of the person i'm turning into.
What are the biggest challenges / stressors in your life at present?: Not having my own home, and living with someone that is quite different from me, and isnt emotionally present. Also living under another person where they are quite inconsiderate with noise in a thin walled/ceiling apartment.
Not having secure work. I'm currently in a parental leave role which ends in July, this is also stopping me from getting a homeloan to buy my own house.
Another stressor is my anxious attachment that comes out when I like someone.
Are you currently in an intimate relationship? If so, what is the quality of that relationship - What is great about it? What could use some work or attention?: Nope - but in my previous relationship last year, I realised that I kept quiet on a few things because I didnt want to be over the top or needy, which meant boundaries were crossed and I wasnt being authentic.
The relationship before that, he told me that I was too needy, so I didnt want to ruin my next relationship.
Which (if any) sex toys do you currently own?: I have a vibrator
Which ()if any self development books have you read in the areas of Sex, Love, Relationships, Menstruation, Witch / Magic?: Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. Polysecure by Jessica Fern.
Are you spiritual and/ or religious? How do you feel about me calling in my guides and Goddess to assist in our work together?: I am spiritual. That's fine
What can I do that will help you feel safe and supported in our work together?: Good question. In our first session, I really liked that you validated things I said, and also paused and took breathes. I liked that you were regulated yourself, I saw that and it made me feel safe.
Session 1
Celebrations: -that i am on an inner journey despite being difficult
-for my body, that it knows what to do every day
-the people that I surround myself with, shedding people that aren’t sering me
What I want to work on:
Being at confest, seeing how free people are to be naked, it not being a sexually charged environment
Being naked = thats mine, if you show it youre being provocative / asking to something
Felt shame for wearing bathers
“Shame” // im being looked at
Its okay to just be - message from medicine plant
If im being seen by a lover i deflect / get anxious - connection to mum always feeling ashamed of her body
Hid my body in the shower
Got told by my mum to cover up from dad
Body, heightened, rushy, chest and throat
Say younger self looking up at me for clarity - looking
Feel the heaviness and restriction
Safety -
Journal: From little girls perspective / current perspective - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PhCDS5GjBClQsVpO6P8LFX0U5smKfNDg/view?usp=sharing
Session 2 - 4/May
-celebrating my body getting through the weekend
I feel identification but want action
-I like to have control over my environment
-i like having things in particular ways
-I like things to be easy and efficient
-Anxious attachment / abandonment / love addiction
-really quick to react to things in a negative frame
-guilt / shame / lack of trust
-self critiquing, analysis: two identities who analyses
Identities: fear on shoulder
Pointed pointing
I process things differently: ADHD or autism
met at human forsest, he was curious about me, he replied,
-here we go again, another person that shows me one way and does another
-there’s a fickleness
-of course he’s going to do that // unreliability
Beliefs about men
I can’t trust men to be reliable
Men will hurt me
I will be abandoned
Men are after one thing from me
Men won’t like me for who I really am
A heavy distrust - I fundamentally don’t trust men
Patriarchy / men rule the world / sexual assult - unwanted energy
Somatic:
buzzy, anxious, stomach feels heavy, throat feel choked up, feels really sad, deep unworthiness,
Dad not being around - longing for the masculine support
Ancient feeling, from mothers womb, in my blood before I came out
carrying so much for so many who came before me
I wouldn’t’ know how to receive love even if it came to me
Other people who can be loved for not being perfect but I can’t
Home play
When you’re ready for a new book I’d recommend Ready to Heal - Kelly Mc Daniels book
-Consider calling Phoebe or other psychotherapist
-Keep doing felt sense meditation, begin to build awareness of your bodies communicatin with you throughout the day. When you feel large sensations stop and acknowledge them:
-take a breath / put your hand on your body where you feel the sensation, whisper some loving affirmations to yourself
-Check out 12 steps
https://www.slaa.org.au/steps/