Self love. Not Surgery.
What I'm about to share is a feather ruffler and possibly uncomfortable. Until now, I've stayed silent, worried I might hurt someone or invalidate their choices. But I can't stay silent any longer.
I have a major issue with the rise in cosmetic surgeries and alterations being targeted towards women, and feminine beings of all ages.
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THE STATS
No matter which article I pull up, online the statistics are the same, the statistics are the same: cosmetic surgery is rising at an alarming rate.
In Australia this year, it's estimated to be a $1.5 billion industry. 38% of the adult population are paying customers.
I read that the boom in this industry is due to the acceptance and normalisation of these procedures, social media influence, porn and even the so-called 'Zoom Doom' effect - the self-critical relationship we developed from seeing our faces constantly on screens during lockdown. Fuck.
Surgery has become so normalised. Inflated lips, gleaming foreheads, frozen expressions—this isn't just Hollywood anymore. It's your local Woolies.
But what disturbs me most is how young the women are who are opting into these surgeries, 92% of cosmetic surgery patients are shown to be women.
And it's not just the surgeries we see. It's the ones we don't.
Today in Australia, labiaplasty—a surgery where a woman has parts of her vulva cut off to look more 'neat, tidy and normal,' is the fastest growing cosmetic procedure.
Just sit on that for a minute.
YOUR PUSSY IS PERFECT
There is no excuse for this being so common. Very few of these are done for medical reasons. The vast majority are cosmetic.
So, why would a woman / vulva owner believe they need to change her labia?
I know why. I've coached women who've had it. Women who now live with pain, loss of sensation, and deep regret.
Porn has fed us this myth of the 'ideal vulva, 'small, tucked-in lips, barely visible. And cosmetic marketing campaigns have targeted that insecurity.
But the truth…. Only a tiny percentage actually look like the vulvas you see on pornhub. Most vulvas have longer, asymmetrical lips. They fold, curve, stretch. All of them are beautiful.
But when boys and men learn about sex from porn, and then encounter a vulva that doesn't match that image, they can become part of the shame spiral of vulva-owners feeling that something is wrong.
Some young girls don't even need direct experience. They hear whispers, watch porn, and make the connection. And I've heard tragic stories of girls taking scissors to their own vulvas.
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SHAKTI RAGE
This is where my Shakti rage ignites and burns.
Because it's our young girls - and the little girl in every woman - that is suffering in this profit-fueled war on our worth.
When girls grow up seeing their idols, mothers, cousins, older sisters getting surgery, how could they not absorb the belief: Who I am isn't good enough. I need to change.
When you zoom out and think about what the cosmetic industry is doing, it's turning us into homogenised clones. Big lips, fake eyes, fake boob, sliced tidy vulvas. It's a real life Barbie horror movie.
We were not born to be clones. We are divinely individual for a reason.
I know people will say they chose surgery from an empowered place. That they feel sovereign. And yes, for some, that might be true.
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UNDER THE MASK LIES INSECURITY
But I'm damn sure that for many, under that mask of empowerment lies insecurity, unworthiness, and the aching feeling of not belonging.
I know this because I work with women on their relationships with their bodies all the time.
One client was addicted to fake lashes. If she didn't wear them, she'd spiral into anxiety. Working together, we uncovered the bullying she endured as a teen. Her lashes were a shield. And only when she met that inner teenager with compassion could she finally release the need to hide. And you know what? She looked breathtaking without them.
I'm pissed off.
As a teen, I already felt the crushing pressure of:
- Waxing my pussy every month
- Doing my brows
- Shaving my legs and armpits
- Keeping up my hair
Today the list is triple the length including injectables and going under the knife.
BREAKING FREE AND SAVING BANK
At 27, after living in the South African desert for weeks without seeing myself in a mirror, allowing my hair to all grow out and giving up the pressure of 'upkeeping my looks,' I finally became free.
Today, I only engage in beauty practices that feel right for me.
And no, I'm not saying we should all become hairy hippies.
I'm speaking out against distorted, harmful alterations.
And don't even get me started on the cost. Some women are spending up to $9,000 a month on cosmetic procedures.
Do you know how much self-love I could energetically inject with that kind of money?
The investment direction is all wrong.
In my dream world, the fastest-growing industry would be self-love.
My upcoming 6-month mentorship? $4500 to completely transform your relationship with yourself.
My retreats? Between $1800 and $3000 to reconnect with your body, your power, your truth.
But those investments seem illogical to people. Because doing the inner work? Meeting that bullied teenager within? It's way harder than a quick injection.
But that inner work? That is the revolution.
That is the uprooting of a patriarchal system that said we weren't beautiful enough. That is the awakening from social media brainwashing. That is the rebellion against homogenization.
Our individuality is our saviour, our sancanity, our sanctuary.
So I'll say it again:
Invest in self love. Not surgery.
Show me that you invested your money, your time, your energy in loving yourself.
Do that. Do the work. And then, if after all that, you still want the surgery—we can talk.
But I guarantee you this:
Your body will speak to you. She will tell you what she really needs. She will pulse with gratitude for being seen.
You will look in the mirror and say: I am beautiful. Just as I am.
And that? That is fucking priceless.
*To all my sisters who have had surgery that you feel happy about, know this was not for you
To all who have had surgery they regret, I see you, I'm here for you, loving yourself with surgery is still a path of self love you are so so able to take <3
